Fifty Shades of Dorian Gray…

RescueSue makes it through the title sequence without uttering a single word. When the redesigned logo appears on screen, I hit the Pause button.

Me: Well?

Sue: What do you want me to say? I thought they might cut away from the boring computer display to something more exciting, but they didn’t, so it’s crap.

Me: Still no apostrophe in the title.

Sue: Still no Avon in the title.

I press Play.

The episode begins with Avon and Dayna approaching the spaceship left to them by Servalan at the end of Terminal.

Sue: Servalan must be around here somewhere. She can’t have teleported very far.

However, Servalan has booby-trapped the spaceship, and when Dr. Cornelius sticks his head inside the door, it explodes.

Sue: What a bitch. She’ll regret that when she realises she’s stranded there with them.

RescueWhen the complex beneath Terminal explodes, Vila thrusts his crotch into Tarrant’s face in order to shield him from the flaming debris.

Sue: Thank God he didn’t try to save Cally like that.

We’ll never know if Cally would have preferred Vila’s thrusting crotch to death because she’s, erm, dead.

Sue: No ****ing way! Just like that? Off-screen? Doesn’t anyone stick around long enough to say goodbye on this bloody show? Don’t get me wrong – I’m glad she’s gone – but that was a really disappointing way for a character to leave a series. This isn’t a very good start, Neil.

Sue does a quick head count.

Sue: Orac must be dead as well. He couldn’t have survived that explosion. So that’s two cast members who didn’t renew their contracts.

Meanwhile, on a spaceship we’ve never seen before…

Sue: Is this the Liberator‘s replacement?

Me: You tell me.

Sue: I think they’ve spent some serious money on it and they’re showing it off, so I guess it must be. I like it.

Me: You like it? Are you insane?

Sue: It’s a proper spaceship. It’s clean for a start. And silver.

RescueMe: You’re actually telling me that you prefer this bland box to the Liberator, one of the most interesting designs for a spaceship ever seen on television?

Sue: Yes. I don’t like the exterior that much, though. It looks like someone’s wrapped a spaceship in brown paper.

The ship belongs to a man named Dorian.

Sue: Is he Cally’s replacement? There’s going to be a lot of testosterone on that ship if he joins the crew. That’ll annoy Dayna and Vila.

Dorian’s ship is equipped with an obsequious computer.

Sue: This must be Zen’s replacement. He sounds like the miserable robot from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Is he from Birmingham? Who’d programme a computer to sound like it came from Birmingham?

Back on Terminal, Avon tells Tarrant that Cally is dead.

Sue: No one gives a shit. I know Cally didn’t do very much, besides getting taken over by telepathic aliens every week, but the lack of tears is a bit harsh. Even Avon doesn’t care and he slept with her!

She eventually realises that Avon is fiddling with something between his legs.

Sue: I don’t believe it! So he went back in there for that stupid bloody computer but he couldn’t be bothered to recover Cally’s body so they could give her a decent burial. I don’t know how I feel about that. Actually, I do know how I feel about that – I’m pissed off!

Sue seethes in silence until Vila walks over the edge of a cliff.

Sue: What a dick!

RescueDorian comes to the rescue.

Sue: Why haven’t we got a cat called Dorian?

Me: Because then we’d have a cat called Dorian.

Sue: Fair enough.

Avon forces his way onto Dorian’s ship.

Sue: Why don’t they just ask him for a lift? He just saved Vila and Dayna from being eaten by a Triffid, so why is Avon is treating him like he’s just pissed in his tea?

Dorian says he’s an intergalactic scrap dealer.

Sue: If he is a scrap dealer, they should have hired a cockney, or someone from the North. Does this show really need another posh boy?

Not for the first time, Vila invades Dayna’s personal space.

Sue: No wonder Dayna can’t stand Vila. He can’t keep his hands off her.

Me: I think Dayna hates Vila almost as much as you do.

Sue: I don’t hate Vila, he just irritates the hell out of me.

The crew prepare to lift-off as a volcano erupts around them.

Me: You can buy those chairs from Staples, you know.

Tarrant buckles up his seat-beat. Clunk-click every space-trip.

RescueSue: Does the ship come equipped with air bags as standard?

Me: Yes, although you do have to pay extra if you want the built-in tape deck.

When Scorpio blasts off from Terminal we are treated to another exterior shot.

Sue: I’ve got to say that shit-brown isn’t a great colour for a spaceship. And are those car headlamps? Is the ship going backwards?

Dorian bangs his head on a corrugated box during take-off, which renders him unconscious. However, before his accident, he pre-programmed the flight computer to take him home, which makes Vila extremely nervous.

Vila Any friend of Dorian’s is unlikely to be a friend of ours.

Sue laughs her head off.

Dayna explores Dorian’s gun cabinet.

Sue: At least they look like proper guns. If you pointed that at someone they wouldn’t go, “Eh? What? You want to curl my hair?”

Dorian’s guns have been adapted to fire a wide variety of projectiles.

Dayna: Laser, plasma bullet, percussion shell, micro grenade, stun, drug –

RescueSue: They look like printer cartridges. If they cost half as much to replace as printer cartridges, they’ll only kill people when they really, really have to.

The ship even comes with its own (non-functioning) teleport system.

Sue: What are the chances of that? Of all the ships they could have ended up on, it had to be one with a talking computer and a teleport thingy. Yeah, right. Like that’s going to happen. Does the ship come with its own telepath as well?

The ship is heading for the planet Xenon.

Sue: Aww, I bet Zen would have loved that.

Vila is worried about Dorian’s associates. Dayna tells him to cheer up – he’s surrounded by clever associates as well.

Vila: Oh yeah? Name six.

Sue: Seven, surely? Oh **** it – I don’t care any more; the title of this programme only ever made sense for a fortnight.

On the planet Xenon, a woman is trying to establish radio contact with Dorian.

Sue: I bet you wish she was a regular character on Blake’s 7, don’t you, Neil? Eh? Eh?

RescueThe spaceship is called Scorpio.

Sue: I don’t like the name. They’ll have to change the name.

Scorpio enters the Xenon base.

Sue: Wow, this is fabulous. It’s like Thunderbirds meets James Bond. It looks amazing. Are these new effects, Neil? Were they added to the DVD later? No? Bloody hell. I’m impressed.

After some gentle prodding, Sue eventually recognises Glynis Barber.

Sue: Either I’m experiencing déjà vu or she’s been in Blake’s 7 before.

I remind her of the conversation we had during Project Avalon.

Sue: Is she playing the same part? Is she still a space vampire?

The woman’s name is Soolin and she’s the fastest gunslinger in the Western spiral arm of the galaxy. She serves a mean glass of wine, too.

Sue: Do they call her Soo for short?

Me No.

RescueSue: Oh.

When Dorian leaves his guests to freshen up, he does so with a noticeable limp.

Sue: Either he hurt his leg when he fell over on the ship, or he can’t hold his drink and he’s pissed.

Avon congratulates Dorian for his impeccable taste in wine and women.

Sue: Cally’s corpse isn’t cold and he’s already thinking about another man’s girlfriend. Bloody hell, Avon. Show some respect.

Dorian pays a visit to the planet’s basement. He appears to have aged considerably.

Sue: What the actual ****? I haven’t got a clue what happening any more.

Me: Haven’t you worked it out yet, Sue? What other work of fiction features a character called Dorian, who tries to stay young in spite of their age?

Sue: I don’t know. Birds of a Feather?

Vila, Dayna and Tarrant change into some fresh clothes.

Sue: Vila looks like he’s the new poster boy for Man at C&A.

RescueThe next time we see Dorian he’s young and virile again.

Sue: Did he cut himself shaving or are his sideburns supposed to look like that?

Dorian isn’t who he says he is.

Vila: There’s something very suspicious about a man who keeps his booze under lock and key.

Sue: That must be a clue. If this story doesn’t hinge on a bottle of wine, I’ll eat my hat.

Me: It’s Chekhov’s carafe. And no, that wasn’t a reference to Star Trek, Sue.

Dayna and Tarrant explore the planet’s basement. When they come to a dead-end, Tarrant decides to return to the surface, mainly because he’s worried that Avon will leave without them.

Sue: Still no trust, I see. I don’t understand why they insist on staying together. They should call it a day and split up. Avon should start again from scratch.

Dayna finds a secondary staircase that leads deeper underground. When she reaches the basement she’s threatened by a monster lurking in the shadows. Dayna freaks out.

Sue: Just run back up the stairs, love.

When her gun refuses to fire, Dayna chucks it at the monster instead.

Sue: I’m beginning to think that they should have ended Blake’s 7 after the last episode, Neil. This is dreadful.

Soolin removed the gun’s cartridges while Avon was bathing.

RescueSue: Hey! Why didn’t we see that scene? I feel cheated.

Dorian entertains Avon in his swanky subterranean pad.

Sue: It reminds me of a hotel foyer. And Dorian reminds me of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer – only posher and even more camp. He is easy on the eye, though.

Dorian has lived for more 200 years.

Sue: I knew it! He’s a vampire. Glynis Barber bit him on the neck and now he’s a sodding vampire. It all makes sense.

Vila knocks back some more wine. I wish I could join him.

Sue: I’ve got it! The wine isn’t really wine – it’s blood. Cursed blood that turns you into a vampire. Vila’s ****ed!

Meanwhile, in the basement, Avon, Tarrant, Dayna and Soolin are told that they will be transformed into a Gestalt entity. Be honest now – who didn’t see that coming?

Sue: This is more supernatural than science fiction. I don’t like it. This is too far-fetched – even for Blake’s 7.

RescueA monster staggers out of the mist.

Sue: It’s a Sea Devil… What the **** is a Sea Devil doing in this story, Neil?

Me: That’s one of Blake’s 7 greatest mysteries, Sue.

She doesn’t fall for it.

Sue: I bet they ran out of money so they had to raid the BBC’s cupboards for second-hand monster props. Yeah, that explains it. They spent all the money on the new spaceship. The producer should be fired for that.

Avon kills the Sea Devil and Dorian crumbles to dust.

Sue: He’s making a meal out of this. I just don’t care any more. Oh, that special effect was quite good.

Now that Dorian is dead, the Sea Devil reverts to its original human form.

RescueSue: Hang on a minute… That means he explored that cave in his pyjamas!

The episode is so ridiculous, Vila promises to stop drinking.

Vila: It’ll be pink asteroids next.

Sue: Only if you steal them from Doctor Who, you cheapskates.

Cue credits.

Sue: Damn it. I was really looking forward to that.

Me: Do you like the new music?

Sue: No, I bloody don’t. It’s lift muzak.

Me: It’s as if Blake’s 7 has won an award, and the house orchestra have struck up an easy listening version of the theme tune as the producer heads to the stage to collect it. That what it sounds like to me.

RescueSue: If Blake’s 7 ever won an award, Neil, it wouldn’t be for that episode. No, it reminds me of those Top of the Pops records from the seventies; you know, when you couldn’t afford the real thing and you had to make do with a cheap cover version. I don’t like it.

Me: I suppose a dance is out of the question, then?

Sue: What are those three lights leaving the screen supposed to represent?

Me: That’s Blake, Jenna and Cally running in the opposite direction.

The Score:

Sue: That was disappointing. It started off OK but it went down hill as soon as they landed on the planet. I didn’t get that at all. Even Servalan would have been preferable to that. Where is she, anyway?


Sue: Still, I liked the spaceship, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time. Do they get to keep Dorian’s house as well?

Me: Maybe.

Sue: Does this mean they’ll have to feed the supernatural entity in the basement every week? Is the supernatural entity a member of the crew now? Is it any good at telepathy?

Next Time:




  • July 11, 2014 8:00 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Philip Ayres

    It’s better than a 3/10!

    And Sue didn’t recognise Bruno Tonioli as the Sea Devil’s human form???

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      July 11, 2014 9:37 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Dave Sanders

      Yes, it’s worth a 4/10, as we established as far back ago as The Face Of Evil.

      Much of season 4 makes more sense if you mentally replace Slave’s Peter Tuddenham voice with Kenneth Williams from Galloping Galaxies, and seems more expensive if you imagine all the ships have proper force-wall technology instead of crap Quantel bubbles.

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    July 11, 2014 8:06 pmPosted 4 years ago

    I never understood the ‘Only the flight deck is pressurised whilst in flight’ bit. I know that it saves them some money in not having to build sets for the rest of the ship but it severely restricts the amount of budget saving ‘bottle’ episodes you can have if all the cast are in the same room.

    • July 11, 2014 8:54 pmPosted 4 years ago

      Two rooms — they have a base now, which they never had before.

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      July 11, 2014 10:18 pmPosted 4 years ago

      My guess is – in terms of the show – freighters of that class only had a main area pressurized out of necessity… a later episode says they pressurize the rest of the ship… but for production purposes, it makes sense that they’d put that in to cut corners. Cheap or not, the Scorpio flight deck does look impressive for its potential…

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      July 11, 2014 11:48 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Dave Sanders

      If only the flight deck is pressurised, wouldn’t that eventually tear the entire ship apart from within?

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    July 11, 2014 8:08 pmPosted 4 years ago

    I’m interested that Sue read Avon’s reaction to Cally’s death as not caring – I read that as him caring very, very much and not wanting to discuss it at all because, well, he’s Avon!

    I actually quite like this episode although I can see why other pepole don’t! It’s definietely a strange season opener …

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      July 11, 2014 11:07 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Chris Allen

      Avon doesn’t look too bothered when it seems as if ALL of the others might be dead

      DAYNA: Well then they’re already dead.
      AVON: Well, that’s what we’re going to find out.

      And off he saunters, seemingly more concerned with berating Dayna and showing what a smart arse he is.

      Compare it to Avon’s reaction to the news of Blake’s death in the last episode.

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        July 12, 2014 2:48 pmPosted 4 years ago

        …but the difference is that Blake trusted Avon and told him so at the end of Star One.

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          July 14, 2014 7:26 amPosted 4 years ago

          Difference? How about being in love, which poor Cally clearly was.
          Seems to me that broken-hearted and betrayed or not, Avon is behaving very rum. After the alien/Cally/destroyed with the Avon kiss thing, he gave her a look so intense, if I’d been Cally Id have been thinking Result! And run back to my cabin and do a happy little dance, grinning all over my face and wish Jenna was there to confide in, all girly…(cant see Dayna doing this).

          And next, there they are in Moloch, all cosy together on the sofa, Cally almost in Avon’s lap…and he significantly not immediately walking halway to Earth to get away.

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            July 14, 2014 7:30 amPosted 4 years ago

            erm…what is going on with my computer! I didnt post that! It just did it on its own!
            This happens to Aspies sometimes. I know one girl who says when she is agitated she cannot be on the bus because the doors keep opening and closing. And none of us can wear watches, they stop at once.

            So…yes, Avon, rum. Next episode, he goes and gets off with Servalan! Why was that necessary? I cant really blame Servalan for being mad at him. She should have teamed up with Cally and given him what-for.

            Poor old Cally. It was only going to end in tears.

  • July 11, 2014 8:12 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Philip Ayres

    This was the first episode of B7 I ever saw and, aged 8, the thing in the cellar scared the living s*** out of me and I ended up turning it off 3/4 of the way through.

    I missed it on the repeat run so the first time I saw it all the way through is the video release.

    Note Soolin sneaking out up the stairs at the end!

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      July 11, 2014 10:55 pmPosted 4 years ago

      Ironically, Soolin sneaking up the stairs at the end was edited out of the BBC video release.

  • July 11, 2014 8:13 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Mat Dolphin

    3????? Come on – I love this one!

    As for the snake creature in the pit, this was two years before Return of the Jedi – did George Lucas borrow this idea?

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    July 11, 2014 8:24 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Doesn’t Avon blow up the room with the sea devil? Or was that just in the novelisation? Or did I just make that up?

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      July 11, 2014 8:59 pmPosted 4 years ago

      Answered my own question (I think). It’s listed as being a cut scene on a web-site I just found (Avon presses a button and you hear a muffled explosion and Avon saying ‘Strike one basement’). I must know it from the Trevor Hoyle ‘Scorpio Attack’… which must have been done from the full uncut script.

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    July 11, 2014 8:27 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Sean Alexander

    Good things about Rescue: the model work (at least the Scorpio’s arrival at Xenon base) and Soo-Lin. Well, Glynis Barber is so easy on the eye she comes with a putting out guarantee.

    Bad things about Rescue: where do you begin..? How about Dorian’s death, making even Soldeed in The Horns of Nimon a piece of understated class; the sea-devil gestalt vampire f**ker in the boiler suit; the Scorpio’s overlit bridge and Zen knock-off Parker-voiced bag of bollocks Slave; Cally getting the worst sci-fi exit until the pre-credits of Time and the Rani; the name ‘Vere Loriimer’ under Producer; Avon’s increasingly bouffant hair; have I mentioned Dorian Gray’s death scene and the f**king sea-devil..?

    Season Four is here, and it’s gonna be one hell of a ride.

    PS Thanks to Sue I finally realise the Dorian in-joke from Birds of a Feather…

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      July 11, 2014 9:10 pmPosted 4 years ago

      “she comes with a putting out guarantee”

      that MUST mean something different in the UK than it does in the USA!

      • July 11, 2014 9:21 pmPosted 4 years ago

        I was gonna say! If any character doesn’t, it’s Soolin…

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      July 11, 2014 10:07 pmPosted 4 years ago

      Avon’s hair is probably the worst aspect of my least favourite season.

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        July 12, 2014 1:07 amPosted 4 years ago

        I think this is where he starts pointedly avoiding looking at other people. I noticed this especially with Soolin, I don’t think there’s more than a scene or two in which he meets her eye. Weird.

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        July 14, 2014 7:34 amPosted 4 years ago

        hear hear. What was he thinking. It looked so good before. It was the 80s, creeping up….it’s like there was something in the water or the air.

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    July 11, 2014 8:43 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Just noticed that, whilst there appear to be space for six guns in the gun cabinet (although only four shown), there is only space for one of each plug-in.

    What happens if all six people with guns want ‘plasma’ or ‘percussion’ (that’s the one that doubles as a drum machine)?

    What about the poor sod who takes the last gun and is left with only the ‘stun’ plug-in?

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      July 11, 2014 8:46 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Sean Alexander

      And how many rounds do you get with each plug-in?

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        July 11, 2014 8:54 pmPosted 4 years ago

        Well with ‘Plasma’ it could be unlimited (it being sci-fi magic and all) but ‘percussion’ must be about six to ten judging by the size of the clip (unless it contains a mini star Trek style replicator that constantly replenishes the bullets).

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          July 11, 2014 10:57 pmPosted 4 years ago

          Issue #1 of Blakes 7 monthly (which came out around the time “Rescue” aired) says that each plasma clip contains enough energy for 12 plasma bolts.

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            July 13, 2014 2:04 amPosted 4 years ago

            I dug out a crate from my mum’s attic a couple of months ago and found the entire run of Blakes 7 monthly in it. It’s just as disappointing now as it was back in 1981.

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            July 13, 2014 11:23 amPosted 4 years ago

            Yes, it’s the antithesis of the Horizon newsletters. Though it goes on less about Steven Pacey’s twins.

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      July 13, 2014 1:19 pmPosted 4 years ago

      What about the poor sod who gets the Glade plug-in and ends up shooting lavender scented air at the baddies?!!

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    July 11, 2014 8:47 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Rescue was pretty rubbish and I hate the new logo and credits. I kind of miss Cally except they gave her bugger all to do except getting taken over, so I’m not surprised she left. I still want to know what’s happened to Jenna since she left.

  • July 11, 2014 8:56 pmPosted 4 years ago
    John Callaghan

    And what’s wrong with having a Brummie computer, hmmm? (Folds arms huffily. Fools no-one.) If it’s good enough for the Krotons, it’s good enough for me. Bosting.

    Actually, I’d not made the Brummagem connection with Slave; it would be another reason why I like him. I’d always heard him as more of a Uriah Heep. I’d much rather have Slave than Zen as my talking alarm clock.

    I quite like Rescue, too, actually. Sorry.

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      July 11, 2014 11:01 pmPosted 4 years ago

      Peter Tuddenham recorded answerphone messages as Zen, Orac and Slave in 1995. Not quite an alarm clock, but very effective for dealing with cold callers!

  • July 11, 2014 9:19 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Well, it’s not a great opener, that’s true, and it’ll get worse, then better, then worse and even worse again before it gets better. But I still love season 4 and I don’t mind this episode much — I’d bump it to at least a 5/10 for Dorian’s performian’ and for the concept. It’s a clever way to justify there being another ship with teleport capability, even if it is almost as far-fetched as just saying “yeah, another race of aliens figured it out too.”

    Soolin is awesome — cool as a cucumber, not to mention gorgeous and deadly — and just edges out Dayna as my third favorite Blake’s 7 character (behind Avon and Servalan; my fifth favorite is Orac). I always assumed that she was conceived as being played by an Asian actor, given the name; can anyone confirm or deny that suspicion? Either way, Glynis Barber is pretty much perfect, apart from the terrible costume (but at least it’s functional rather than offensively ornamental).

    As for the ship, well, you’re not going to match the Liberator, are you? I imagine it’s cheaper because they weren’t sure how much longer the series would last, and you’re not going to build one of the most distinctive and presumably expensive spaceship sets twice in one series, not on this budget. It IS disappointing, but for me it also serves as a visible sign of how much ground they’ve lost, and maybe also that they don’t need the galaxy’s most amazeballs ship in order to fight the power.

    The Sea Devil. Sigh. I wonder what that looked like in the script? And how the poor Ancient Terran felt about being the embodiment of one man’s long life of corruption? It’s not THAT ugly, unless you just hate turtles or something.

    Anyway, hooray for season 4! Yes, we’re past the show’s prime at this point, but that’s part of its charm for me; there’s a feeling of doom and desperation that comes over everything from here on out that’s deliciously ominous, kind of like Tom Baker’s last season (same year, after all, if I remember correctly), and it gives even the weaker episodes a creeping sense of foreboding. I’m definitely gonna be on pins and needles for the next 12 updates.

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      July 12, 2014 1:05 amPosted 4 years ago

      I agree with all of that, esp. the cool cucumberishness of Soolin!

      I’ve seen it said that she and Dayna are too much of the same cliché, but, even if it is somewhat true, I don’t care. Better two competent fighters than making one into a drip. Some character development would’ve been nice, but what can you do.

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      July 12, 2014 3:44 amPosted 4 years ago

      Same here!

      Minor spoilers follow.

      S4’s feeling of desperation and gloom definitely saves it from being another year of star trek like episodes.

      But the second half of s4 definitely picks up and remains virtually consistent… Pity about the first half being so uneven…

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      July 12, 2014 11:38 amPosted 4 years ago

      It sounded Asian to me to, but Paul Darrow and/or Michael Keating said at a Star One con that Soolin was named after a character called Sue Ellen on Dallas.

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        July 12, 2014 9:22 pmPosted 4 years ago

        The name Soolin was inspired by Chris’ wife whose name is…Sue 🙂 I met Chris many moons ago whilst i was working in a video shop near Ascot. He was buying loads of westerns on VHS. I only recognised his because of a photo from issue 4 of Blake’s 7 Monthly. This was around 1995 when the Babylon 5 producer JMS was name checking B7 a lot. Amazngly Chris hadn’t heard any of this or seen any of B5 but was watching the awful DS9. I told him to ditch that show and tune into B5 instead. Top bloke Chris and we had a good chat about the finale etc.

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          July 14, 2014 3:37 pmPosted 4 years ago

          Actually Mrs Boucher is called Lyn (can’t remember exactly which spelling) – all Chris’s Doctor Who novels are dedicated to her. So that’s where the Lin part comes from, I can’t remember if she has Susan as another part of her name.

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            July 14, 2014 8:17 pmPosted 4 years ago

            My mistake Robert (my ageing brain is mush), Mrs Boucher is indeed Lyn.

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        July 14, 2014 2:53 pmPosted 4 years ago

        They weren’t being entirely serious. She’s definitely named by Chris Boucher afer his wife.

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      July 14, 2014 7:40 amPosted 4 years ago

      I always love to hear what men say about how women look because it never seems to gel with what a lot of women think, cf, thinking that very skinny is hot when men are always saying it isnt…I said this once at a tableful of guys in Bangkok, from all different countries, that women dont listen and was amazed how they banged the table in response, really frustrated.
      So to me, I thought Soolin looked like a stocky big-boned peasant, I really didnt see anything at all in the attraction stakes, nothing like the incomparably awesome Dayna…but wow they guys seem to love her all right.
      BTW, doesnt Dayna look just like that lovely actress, Lupita Nyong’o? Really similar?

      • July 14, 2014 8:25 pmPosted 4 years ago

        I can’t speak for all men (I’m certainly not an archetypal example) but I do think there’s some truth in what you’re saying here about the disconnect.

        I personally would not discount the appeal of what you’re calling the “stocky big-boned peasant” look, but I don’t think it applies to Soolin. Her costume is just very unflattering. Dayna fares better in that department, and I’d agree 100% with “incomparably awesome” as it applies to her.

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          July 15, 2014 10:40 amPosted 4 years ago

          Anyone who doubts Glynis Barber’s physical appeal should just watch the BBC’s “Jane” and “Jane in the Desert”. I think they’re on Youtube.

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          July 18, 2014 6:05 pmPosted 4 years ago

          She looks, you know, broad. Broad face, thick body and substantial arse. I have heard all my life that men like an arse they can park a bike in and balance a pint on. And I am not saying it isnt attractive, I just simply can’t see it at all, certainly not enough to justify the general Phwoooarr she’s evoking. No such reaction to Dayna when she cropped up!

          Really am fascinated by this stuff. A disconnect, like you say, a really big one sometimes, too. So I wonder if the guys here had, at gunpoint, to arrange the B7 women in ‘hotness’ order….who would they put first?

          Its also interesting to me because I wonder if there isnt a disconnect, between ‘beautiful’ and ‘shaggable’. I find Avon (up til the horror hair and studs began, anyway) to be incomparable, never seen anything like him, but I wouldnt want to shag him. He’s too perfect, and even becoming a hair criminal isnt ringing the sex bell, because now he’s too mean and crazy. Also perfection diminished doesnt turn to shaggable, I find.
          After all Michaelangelo’s Pieta stops the heart, but if it was all chipped and dusty and scratched up, you still wouldnt put it in the garden.

          So is Dayna too perfect, too intimidating? Soolin is putting me in mind of Samantha Fox. I never ‘got’ her either…guys tried to explain it was the girl-next-door look, the accessibility thing..she looked so plain to me.
          So as a lass myself, I would say: Dayna, Jenna, Servalan, Cally, Soolin. And I would find a place for the slave girl in Weapon but cant remember…looked it up, Rashel..she was very pretty and I would put her after Jenna.
          And the guys for looks as Avon, Carnell, Travis 1, Vila, Blake, Travis 2, Tarrant, and Gan. But shaggability would be Carnell, Vila, Blake, and erm…Jarvik. The others dont get a look-in. Avon gets a pedestal. Then he gets killed when he screws with his hair like that.

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            July 19, 2014 12:00 amPosted 4 years ago

            Okay Fiona, I’ll play! 😀

            In descending order.. ahem.. Jenna, Dayna, Rashel, Soolin, Cally.

            Not Servalan – too butch by far…

          • July 19, 2014 12:39 amPosted 4 years ago

            The women: Dayna/Soolin (don’t make me choose), Jenna, Servalan, Cally. I can’t begin to start slotting in guest characters here; too many to choose from. If what Soolin’s got is “broad” give me broad any day of the week.

            The men: jeez, I dunno — none of them have ever really been my type. Blake, surprisingly, would probably be my first choice these days, and then Travis 2, though back in the day it would have been reversed. Zero interest in any of the others, though maybe if I could choose Steven Pacey rather than Tarrant or Paul Darrow rather than Avon there might be something cooking.

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            July 19, 2014 8:42 amPosted 4 years ago

            Let’s see…. I’d marry Cally, shag Dayna, throw Jenna off a cliff. Never could stand Jenna and her big hair and self righteous attitude. Cally is obviously a home body and would do the dusting which I hate. Dayna is lovely enough to turn me from an up-to-now straight path.

            Thank God Nick didn’t pick Inga. If he had I really would have believed men are from Mars…

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            July 19, 2014 2:00 pmPosted 4 years ago

            Dayna is “broader” in Series C, loads of puppy fat. She loses a heck of a lot of weight in the 18 month gap and the Terminal costume is hanging off her by Rescue, indeed you can count her ribs through the rest of Series D. Painful thinness isn’t attractive to most men.

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    July 11, 2014 9:23 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Dave Sanders

    The subtext looks perfectly mild
    When seen through the eyes of a child;
    But now as a grown-up
    I feel I should own up,
    A bit suspect even for Wilde.

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      July 12, 2014 4:01 pmPosted 4 years ago


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      July 20, 2014 5:24 pmPosted 4 years ago


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    July 11, 2014 10:00 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Chris Allen

    “I don’t like the exterior that much, though”

    I think it’s way, way better than the interior. Still, the strong studio lightning does it no favours.

    The Liberator is one of the most iconic designs in science-fiction, Scorpio… well, it isn’t really, is it? It’s OK, but pretty generic and forgettable.

    “What are the chances of that? Of all the ships they could have ended up on, it had to be one with a talking computer and a teleport thingy. Yeah, right. Like that’s going to happen”

    The long arm of coincidence is definitely at play (well it is a Chris Boucher script). I reckon the crew were “stranded” on Terminal for, at best, oooohh…. 45 minutes?

    Avon suddenly becomes quite the prescient know it all at the beginning (Sherlock Avon). 5 minutes ago (or a year in real time) in “Terminal” he looked a bit deflated, stripped of his usual cockiness.

    DAYNA: Don’t you ever get bored with being right?

    AVON: Just with the rest of you being wrong.

    Whoa, whoa there Sherlock! Remind me again, just WHO was it just lost the Liberator and, by stranding the crew, is responsible for Cally’s (very imminent) death?

    Was was that you said in “Trial”?

    AVON: After all, I don’t get them killed.

    There’s actually an interesting parallel with the events of “Pressure Point” and more recent events.

    The leader of the Seven takes them on an obsessive quest that turns out to be a Federation trap and the object being sought was never really there (“a trick, an illusion”). Most of the Seven are taken prisoner and one of them is ultimately killed in an explosion set off by the main villain.

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      July 11, 2014 10:13 pmPosted 4 years ago

      It’s not a coincidence that the Scorpio has teleport though, is it? That’s one of the reasons why he’s been pursuing the Liberator, as he knows they have one, and Orac, which he thinks will be the means of getting him his own.

      It could even have been his original plan to commandeer the Liberator in some way and get it for himself as an extra ship. After all, at the start of the episode he thinks the Liberator still exists, so it does raise the question of how he would have tried to carry out his plans, had Terminal never happened. Perhaps an attempt at ingratiating himself with the crew, offering them a base and his and Soolin’s assistance against the Federation before getting them all on Xenon where he would sacrifice them all to the gestalt creature… leaving Dorian with the base, and both the Liberator and Scorpio.

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      July 11, 2014 11:03 pmPosted 4 years ago

      Karma sucks, doesn’t it, Avon? Karma sucks.

  • July 11, 2014 10:14 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Alex Wilcock

    “Oh yeah? Name six.”
    That’s one of my favourite ever comeback lines – both in context, morbidly, and in general (I once used it in a political debate to make someone lose it completely). And Vila has a particularly good episode here – he’s the most effective of the Seven, turning all his ‘faults’ into character pieces, so yay! Not a good last line, though. But he’s the one who’s got the measure of everyone.

    Shame Dorian encourages Darrow to play up rather than him taking the opportunity to go back to underplaying to undercut him. And I bet Dorian’s Grindr profile is called something like ‘StraightActingTopB*****d’.

    Are these new effects, Neil? Were they added to the DVD later? No? Bloody hell. I’m impressed.
    Yay again!

    Me: Haven’t you worked it out yet, Sue? What other work of fiction features a character called Dorian, who tries to stay young in spite of their age?
    Sue: I don’t know. Birds of a Feather?

    That made me spit out my tea.

    I remind her of the conversation we had during Project Avalon…

    And you thought it was just coincidence that Season One started with Federation characters called “Tarrant” and “Dainer”…

    I have a theory, and it looks more plausible than ever this week with Cally’s invisible death and Dayna devolving into the screaming girly part (shame, Mr Boucher: at least there’s only one lot of BS still to come…). Blake’s 7 characters keep going from interesting to forgettable, then being replaced by someone with exactly the same job description: Cally the tough gunslinger woman goes insipid and in comes Dayna the tough gunslinger woman; Zen the slightly sinister stand-offish super-computer gets too compliant and “Confirmed” and in comes Orac the slightly sinister stand-offish super-computer; Blake the arrogant self-styled leader with teeth and curls who takes the others for granted and, er, Tarrant. And who’s turned the most bland beige since last year and needs rebooting with a new version to do what they were meant to in the first place?

    Surprisingly, not Tarrant (clearly both Boucher and Darrow have decided that there’ll be no pussy-footing about who the lead is this year). So welcome the completely original character: Soolin the tough gunslinger woman! Keep watching to see if she’s making the coffee, screaming and swooning by the end of the season.

    Though I’ll give them this – despite the unpromising sign of Vere ‘It’ll Do’ Lorrimer as producer, who as far as I’m concerned turned only one decent bit of direction in the last three years (Aftermath, if you ignore his signature ‘It’ll Do’ first couple of minutes), this final season manages to do something with a bare majority of its episodes’ directors that Doctor Who never gets anywhere near. Oh, I love it too, encyclops. After a while. This episode seems to be the opposite of the season as a whole – starts out really well, then becomes increasingly wobbly (reaches for some of Dorian’s drink first)…

    • July 12, 2014 12:29 amPosted 4 years ago

      This may be a stupid question, but what exactly is Vila counting? Don’t his dead (or missing) comrades add up only to five: Gan, Jenna, Blake, Zen (if we must), and Cally? Who am I forgetting? or is he just subtracting one from the title he doesn’t know about?

      • July 12, 2014 1:44 amPosted 4 years ago
        John Callaghan

        I understood the “name six” remark to mean that he only has five living associates to back him up. It’s a slightly odd line, as he only has *four* friends (including Orac). So I’m presumably missing something too.

        • July 15, 2014 9:10 pmPosted 4 years ago
          Alex Wilcock

          My understanding was exactly that you *can’t* name six – he’s replying to the suggestion that Dorian has a lot of bright associates by pointing out that they don’t (and going down).

          Though I do love the gag “is he just subtracting one from the title he doesn’t know about?”

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      July 14, 2014 8:01 amPosted 4 years ago

      That is an interesting idea: start off with a great character, full of possibilities and then sort of get bored and lose momentum. Bit like, erm, Blake’s & really.
      Looking at some of the stuff other people write about this show, I saw that really, t is only very passionate and deep when its about series 1 and 2. Avon and Blake. There just isnt the depth anymore. There is nothing of a serious conflict between the characters. A bunch of people all bickering at each other with no apparent purpose.
      Avon is still interesting and at least his character is developing even if it isnt for the better. I cant find him at all …I dont want to say ‘lovable’ for he was never that, but he had something going on, and now he seems like he’s going mad, but its like he’s become frightening/
      And yeah, say what, the rest of you being wrong? Wont anybody at all pull him on this? Well, Avon, lets just stop a mo while I call the Liberator… Strange, there’s no answer…

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    July 11, 2014 10:16 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Yay new series, ahhh, Glynis Barber! If only she’d had more to do. Dorian Gray’s a cool creepy idea for the show but it could have been written much better. Avon’s hair is a worry from now on. I don’t think I’m gonna like it again until it gets mussed by the desert wind in ep. 12.

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      July 12, 2014 1:22 amPosted 4 years ago

      I loved his big hair!

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    July 11, 2014 10:48 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Jonathan Baldwin

    If I remember correctly, someone wrote in to Points of View and asked why the opening credits of Blakes 7 now included an aerial shot of a bowl of Angel Delight.

    I’ve never been able to take it seriously since then.

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      July 18, 2014 6:17 pmPosted 4 years ago

      mm Angel Delight. Butterscotch flavour. Delicious chemical compound with zero nutrition. One spoon bring back the 70s full flood. Eating it by the coal fire, after even more nutritious fishfingers and chips and no vegetables, Basil Brush, Emu, Doctor Who and Blake’s 7 and The Professionals on the TV…TV that has to ‘warm up’ before the picture arrives and sometimes scrolls up til you hit it…has to be unplugged at night along with everything else…and be careful not to put a rug on a polished floor…or drive too close, only A FOOL would do that…or fall in dark and lonely water… or smoke in bed…the Ripper and the Daleks prowling around outside in snow that never seemed to go away…
      Blake’s 7 was perfect back then. It had all the bleakness and all the cosiness too.

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        July 19, 2014 8:36 amPosted 4 years ago

        Those Orange walls.
        And Purple accessories.
        Those Vesta curries
        And formal Dinner parties.
        Trousers that flared like giant bird wings
        Just a few of my favourite Seventy’s things!
        And the Afros and moustaches. When I’m feeling sad,
        I simply remember how we looked then, and then I don’t feel so bad.

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    July 11, 2014 11:28 pmPosted 4 years ago

    As it’s the start of Season 4 I feel it is time to instigate Darrow-watch: my campaign to gather enough evidence to bring Darrow to trial for crimes against acting. This week’s evidence: his delivery of the word “appetite” and also his “being thrown against the staircase by the power of the monster” moment near the end.

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      July 11, 2014 11:44 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Dave Sanders

      Blake’s 7 was penance for his performance in Whodunnit. 🙂

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    July 11, 2014 11:34 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Oh yes, the episode isn’t much cop. However given the circumstances I think Boucher should have a “get out of jail free” card for this one. I think even Robert Holmes would have struggled.
    I liked it when it was first broadcast because back then I liked pretty much anything that featured a monster hidden in a cellar. I didn’t spot that it was a Sea Devil at the time, but then I think I was watching ity on my gran’s tiny Black and white portable TV. Probably the best way to watch it.

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    July 11, 2014 11:38 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Aww, I really like Rescue.

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      July 12, 2014 9:51 amPosted 4 years ago

      Me too. I enjoyed it. It’s crammed with stuff and I liked the Dorian/Avon battle of wits. It ain’t subtle but hey, it’s opera. I also think an episode where they sat around mourning their dead would hardly qualify as adventures with a group of misfits thrown together in a very strange universe and trying to survive. Probably in real life at this point Avon would be refusing to get out of bed or pissed out if his skull but he’s battling on trying to keep the youngsters and the idiot from killing themselves and him. With bad hair. Overacting? Thank God. It’s what makes the whole shebang so compelling. Like Alan Rickman in the otherwise beige Robin Hood. And how do you do subtle when you’ve been costumed like Meatloaf in space?

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      July 14, 2014 3:33 pmPosted 4 years ago

      I like Rescue lots too. In the old VHS days, Terminal/Rescue was one of the strongest releases.

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    July 11, 2014 11:46 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Dave Sanders

    I wonder how long it will take Sue to notice from the space sequences that unlike the Liberator, they clearly can’t afford more than one model of any spaceship any more. It becomes really blindingly obvious from how they set up and execute the effects.

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    July 12, 2014 12:06 amPosted 4 years ago
    Katie c

    C’mon Sue, this is better than Moloch and there were some huge explosions and Cally is in a quiet place. Now you’ll have to go into negative scores for the next few.
    It’s a shame they couldn’t have borrowed a more impressive monster, like, I don’t know, a Krynoid? Not a dalek obviously but I can’t remember any more.

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    July 12, 2014 1:33 amPosted 4 years ago
    Chris Allen

    “Is he Cally’s replacement? There’s going to be a lot of testosterone on that ship if he joins the crew. ”

    I remember thinking that Dorian would make a good member of the Seven back in 1981 (this was during the first 20 minutes or so of the episode of course). I really liked the sparring between him and Avon. I always thought Avon worked best when he was up against someone who could give as good as they got. Tarrant just doesn’t quite make it I’m afraid.

    Soolin? Sadly she’s always comes across as perhaps the blandest member of the Seven, except perhaps for Gan.

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    July 12, 2014 10:17 amPosted 4 years ago
    Marky Mark

    Oh dear. Not a great start to the last season – saved by the only decent space totty we’ve had so far in Blake’s 7. And unlike you hetties lusting after Glynis Barber (something for everyone, see !), I’m talking about the rather gorgeous Geoffrey Burridge (not a very sexy name, though).

    Sadly, though, having looked him up on IMDB, I see he died of AIDS in 1987 aged 38 🙁

    Finally, have to say the lift muzak version of the theme tune over the end credits was absolutely appalling – what were they thinking ?!

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      July 13, 2014 2:26 amPosted 4 years ago

      I suspect it was an ill-advised attempt to replicate the orchestral sound of contemporary sci-fi movies with the Dudley Simpson Quartet.

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      July 14, 2014 3:31 pmPosted 4 years ago

      He was Alec McCowen’s partner and McCowen kicked up a fuss when his This Is Your Life made no mention of Burridge, and they had to do a voiceover on the closign credits “…would not be complete without mention of…” before McCowen would let them screen it.

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        July 14, 2014 6:24 pmPosted 4 years ago
        Marky Mark

        That’s very sad to hear, Robert. Thank God we live in more enlightened times these days…

    • July 14, 2014 8:27 pmPosted 4 years ago

      I’m with you as well on Geoffrey. I could probably have lived quite happily with Dorian and Soolin on Xenon base for a while, at least until he fed me to the Sea Devil.

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    July 12, 2014 11:11 amPosted 4 years ago
    Richard Lyth

    The main problem I have with the episode is that it spends way too much time focussing on Dorian, and Soolin’s barely in it. Usually the new regulars get plenty to do in their first episode before fading away into the background, but it looks like Soolin’s skipped the first part. I guess the next episode might feature her more prominently, but as it’s by Ben Steed I don’t know if that would be a good thing…

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    July 12, 2014 11:45 amPosted 4 years ago

    I wish they’d stopped with Terminal too. There are some OK eps in season 4, but in general it’s the worst season, either hopelessly OTT (like S4 Avon) or just bleak.

    I like Soolin though; she’s cool, detached, and logical, unlike the now rather manic and unbalanced Avon.

    Sadly, Sue, there’s another BS (Ben Steed has the right initials) ep to come which I hope will get a negative number out of 10.

    • July 12, 2014 1:26 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Philip Ayres

      I like the next Steed episode. It’s his best one by a country mile!

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        July 13, 2014 11:59 amPosted 4 years ago

        I’d agree with that. ‘Power’ is a half decent effort from Steed with some surprisingly funny lines but perhaps they are Boucher’s?

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      July 13, 2014 12:04 pmPosted 4 years ago

      Wasn’t most of B7 hopelessly ‘Bleak’ or at times OTT? ‘Terminal’ would have been a dire way to end a series and how could we have lived without Gold, Sand, Orbit and the definitive finale? They are 4 of the best episodes that B7 ever produced.

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    July 12, 2014 12:10 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Bad episodes create much more interesting comments than good ones. Because I care about the characters as if they are real, I try to make sense if stuff that’s clearly just an in-joke by the script writer (name 6 for example) or weirdly inflected articulation of words or stylised hand gestures. Operas are ill plotted affairs but the music provides an emotional raison d’être for the oddest actions or reactions and I find something a bit similar in Season 4. The crazy plots and settings almost become metaphors for the emotional states of the group. Pretty good rationalisation of why I enjoy this twaddle so much, eh?

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      July 12, 2014 2:46 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Dave Sanders

      Well you’ve hit the nail on the head – the phrase is ‘space opera’, not ‘science fiction’. Operas are exercises in controlled noise and walk that fine between high art and bombastic self-parody all the time. Ask Chuck Jones.

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        July 12, 2014 4:27 pmPosted 4 years ago

        My god. I’d never noticed before: the blue print for Avon Fudd and Bugs Blake. (Which of course is your point)

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    July 12, 2014 12:55 pmPosted 4 years ago
    The Grouchybeast

    Aww, I rather like Rescue. Although at the same time, I’m couldn’t argue that 3 isn’t a pretty fair score. Between the casual writing out of Cally, the dodgy acting, and the unfortunate sea devil, it has a lot of flaws. But, Dorian!

    Sue: Hey! Why didn’t we see that scene? I feel cheated.

    Oh, Suuuuuuuuuuue! Look over here!

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      July 12, 2014 3:39 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Dave Sanders

      Now there’s a sheriff who knows where his towel is.

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        July 12, 2014 4:06 pmPosted 4 years ago

        Yeh. Shame ain’t it.

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          July 18, 2014 5:25 pmPosted 4 years ago

          Amazing what men could get away with then, though. Don’t get me wrong, I like Paul Darrow’s pale looks, but would never pass in a modern remake. That Benedict/Sherlock guy better be a lot more buff than this …and I bet, a modern Avon would have a lot of clothes-shedding, and it wouldnt be just deadly kisses anymore.
          Take for example, Avon kissing Servalan and then knocking her gratuitously down (really, I’d be furious, too): now, what do you think? Full-on porn-star sex a la The Tudors (this is my yardstick for ‘shocking’ given it’s just not allowed in HK) and at the moment of climax…
          “Oh yes, Avon, yes, yes, yes..”
          “I think…not”.
          And push her off the bed in a tempestuous heap of bedclothes and spitting rage. Who would be Servalan to Benedict’s Avon? Who would have chemistry?

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      July 13, 2014 2:32 amPosted 4 years ago


      Avon and Ford Prefect in a bath house. There’s one for the ‘shippers.

      ‘Shippers’: A term I only learned from reading this blog. I hope you’re happy Neil.

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    July 12, 2014 8:57 pmPosted 4 years ago

    ‘Rescue’ is actually one of my faves mainly for the dialogue and I thought that the actor playing Dorian was very effective. It’s a solid 8/10 for me even if some of the ideas seem better suited to Dr Who which is probably why they nicked the Sea Devil costume.
    The model work really is quite special for a 1981 BBC effort aren’t they? Series 4 had quite a big budget increase for its time – this really angered Dr Who producer JNT at the time as well as the ‘theft’ of the Sea Devil. Check out how many times B7 costumes turn up in Dr Who after this eppy as JNT get’s his revenge 🙂

    I thought Sue would love Rescue so I think the next 4 eppys will fare much, much worse than this one (because they are absolutely dire).

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    July 12, 2014 10:30 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Philippa Sidle

    *raises hand timidly* Operas are not ALL badly plotted. Opera libretti span the quality continuum like any other art form and there are completely different schools of opera too, one of which (verismo, epitomised by Puccini) emphasises psychological and dramatic realism. *goes back to lurkng*

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      July 12, 2014 10:58 pmPosted 4 years ago

      You’re right of course Philippa- though Turandot is a bit dicey plot wise. But quite often the need to supply the lead singers with spectacular arias does result in rational absurdities even if they work in performance such as ‘how the hell did she/he find the breath to sing that given they’ve just been poisoned/shot/strangled?’.

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        July 13, 2014 9:44 amPosted 4 years ago
        Philippa Sidle

        Heh, true enough. I withdraw my knee jerk objection – you clearly do know opera! It’s just that so many people say opera plots in particular are silly without actually knowing anything about it at all, and I feel absurdly driven to challenge that attitude when I come across it. Sorry Neil for the complete veer off-topic. (And Il Trovatore has a completely ridiculous plot too…)

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      July 14, 2014 11:21 amPosted 4 years ago

      why raises hand timidly?

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        July 14, 2014 12:19 pmPosted 4 years ago
        Philippa Sidle

        Because I didn’t want to come across as an opera bore.

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          July 18, 2014 4:44 pmPosted 4 years ago

          ah! I wondered. But you dont…that was interesting…actually I was being snarky because I was pissed off about something else, sorry.

          Used to post on websites under a sexually neutral name and got treated with respect by men who would engage me in serious debate..and when they found I was a woman they would be surprised, which was kind of offensive, but interesting and relationships had been established. But then I started posting under my own name: and now, what used to be regarded as forceful and worthy of respect is now regarded as unladylike and opinionated. (Not this blog, hasten to add). So hand raised timidly was making me bristle, see my connection.

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          July 18, 2014 4:44 pmPosted 4 years ago

          I mean , I apologise!

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    July 13, 2014 1:38 amPosted 4 years ago

    It’s been a long, long time since I watched this episode but the Scorpio is a ship designed for salvage, yeah? Why wasn’t it written so that Dorian had collected some Liberator-scrap from orbit that included bits of the teleport and a (possibly brain-damaged) slice of Zen for lots of retro-fitted wacky unreliable-tech adventures?

    It would make a hell of a lot more sense than what is basically an interstellar tramp steamer just happening to have the kind of technology the Federation has been turning over solar systems for during the last three years.

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      July 13, 2014 11:22 amPosted 4 years ago

      They would’ve brought the nasty space-ship eating fluid particles on board with the salvaged parts, that’s why 🙂

    • July 13, 2014 12:47 pmPosted 4 years ago
      Philip Ayres

      Personally I reckon Dorian’s been building the teleport to save him the trip up & down the stairs every time he needs a love in with his Sea Devil

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    July 13, 2014 1:52 pmPosted 4 years ago
    Matt Sharp

    I’m terribly disappointed – everyone knows of the aborted plan for Tarrant to sing the closing feem tune for Series Four, but in the intervening 33 years, NOT ONE person has attempted to bring it into being!

    Of course, as a TV theme from 1981, it should also have a verse delivered in the form of rap by Paul Darrow.

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      July 14, 2014 11:24 amPosted 4 years ago

      Annie could write it!!

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    July 14, 2014 1:02 amPosted 4 years ago
    Robin Brown

    Birds of a Feather. I LOLed.

    I really like Rescue, for all it’s utterly ridiculous. I found the weird soundscape of Dorian’s lair really spooky when I was younger. I like Scorpio too – at least the exterior, which looks like a pair of owl’s eyes from the back. The idea that they stay on the base – presumably with Dorian’s sex dungeon underneath it – for the next 12 episodes also tickles me.

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    July 14, 2014 8:37 amPosted 4 years ago

    Well Now. You only had to ask.
    We’re out in space
    In our boots and lace.
    A rag tag rank and file
    Looking for a paedophile.
    Despite our flaws
    We’re fighting freedom’s cause;
    Play monopoly and bitch at
    Our cruel fate.

    I steal every scene.
    Don’t cross me, I’m too mean.
    I dress like a whore but will kill you while I preen.
    Under Federation rule if you hesitate you’re dead.
    Mother, friend, lovers they all are bred
    To sell us out for their survival,
    Sentiment is weakness and love a denial.
    I really am a bastard, don’t be fooled if I play nice,
    Underneath this cold exterior’s, a heart of ice.
    If it comes to a choice between you and me,
    Everything’s expendable except for me.
    I’m clever and witty, a civilised being
    With alley cat morals when it comes to women.
    The most intimate I get with one of the seven
    Is commanding Orac to answer my question.
    I inflect every syllable, my accent’s cut glass,
    Run like a girl with my nice tight ass,
    Can’t hit where I aim, wave my hands with affectation
    But I fight to survive like a rabid Alsatian.
    I may look for Blake but don’t be a fool,
    His revolutionary instincts I will over-rule.
    It’s not love but expediency keeps me searching
    As my plans for winning just aren’t working.
    I’ll ally with the Devil, even Servalan,
    In survival’s competition I’m the number one man.
    You Federation goons, catch me if you can,
    When it comes to survival I’m the number one man.

    You can take me on if you trust your luck.
    If you’re hurting, if you’re bleeding I don’t give a f***k.
    I expect you just to listen, to obey
    And I’ll shoot you in the back if you’re in my way.
    If it goes against me and you out smart my guile
    I’ll defy my fate with a crocodile smile.
    Friends, foes, lovers, in the end it’s all the same.
    Survival and winning is the only game.

    We’re beyond the rim.
    On our own with him.
    Liberator’s rubble
    No Orac, we’re in trouble.
    Marooned with links and snake
    And horror in the dark. We
    Will look for Blake.
    And defy our fate.

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      July 14, 2014 11:26 amPosted 4 years ago

      My word Annie! This one is scary enough.

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        July 14, 2014 12:52 pmPosted 4 years ago

        Well it’s how Avon professes to be anyway. And much as I love him he’d be hard work, especially shut up with him in a tin can in space.

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          July 18, 2014 11:00 amPosted 4 years ago

          I just watched Power. And I am pretty much over Avon at this point. Maybe he’ll come back to me.
          But the hair, Annie, the hair! I know, the eighties, could have been worse, could have been a mullet, I know, I know.
          But still. Bouffant. and didnt I read somewhere that this was PD’s own actual choice, not foisted on him like a series 2 costume? Didnt he get that the close-cropped space convict look was far more becoming?
          Men, Jesus. Dont they look in mirrors. My ex-boyfriend once when we were all in Macau, turned up to the breakfast table in my long-sleeved black T-shirt..same as his, but thing is, it clung to every muscle in a way that said ‘night-time at the gay club’. Completely oblivious. Then faintly puzzled to see guys checking him out.
          and here’s the delectable Paul Darrow wearing leather and studs…are they trying to make him look physically larger? It looks absolutely ridiculous.

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            July 18, 2014 12:14 pmPosted 4 years ago

            Would it look better on Ricky Gervais, I wonder? 😉

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            July 18, 2014 6:22 pmPosted 4 years ago

            what the leather and studs?? Please, dont go there….

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    July 14, 2014 11:39 amPosted 4 years ago

    Not a great series opener and I’ll never forgive the Sea Devil. Did anyone in the production team think that viewers wouldn’t notice?!

    And if you’re going to rehash the Portrait of Dorian Grey, at least be subtle and change the name!

    And killing Cally off screen – lame.

    On the plus side: Soolin! 🙂

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    July 14, 2014 12:15 pmPosted 4 years ago

    “DAYNA: Don’t you ever get bored with being right?
    AVON: Just with the rest of you being wrong.
    Whoa, whoa there Sherlock! Remind me again, just WHO was it just lost the Liberator and, by stranding the crew, is responsible for Cally’s (very imminent) death?”

    ^^ Agree this is a bit rich from Avon, Chris, in the circumstances. Up ’til now his arrogant streak has been tempered by obvious self-awareness, and he’s actually been quite gracious in admitting to his occasional mistakes (‘Deliverance’, ‘Rumours of Death’). Think the characterisation of Dayna here is a change from S.3 Dayna, too.

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    July 14, 2014 12:15 pmPosted 4 years ago

    “DAYNA: Don’t you ever get bored with being right?
    AVON: Just with the rest of you being wrong.
    Whoa, whoa there Sherlock! Remind me again, just WHO was it just lost the Liberator and, by stranding the crew, is responsible for Cally’s (very imminent) death?”

    ^^ Agree this is a bit rich from Avon, Chris, in the circumstances. Up ’til now his arrogant streak has been tempered by obvious self-awareness, and he’s actually been quite gracious in admitting to his occasional mistakes (‘Deliverance’, ‘Rumours of Death’). Think the characterisation of Dayna here is a change from S.3 Dayna, too.

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    July 14, 2014 2:56 pmPosted 4 years ago

    I always thought of the new closing theme as being the RAW SEX version, you can see them sat playing it, each with a fag on.

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    July 15, 2014 4:13 pmPosted 4 years ago

    Watched Rescue again today inspired by this blog. Geoffrey Burridges turn as Dorian is the best thing by far. He was a Bond villain in waiting, charm on the surface but insanity lurking just below. He manages to pull off the more melodramatic lines somehow “my corruption has become too much for one man to bear!” Without sounding totally ridiculous. 1981 was a good year for OTT deaths in his career, look out for him as the prototype yuppy who unwittingly becomes a snack for David Kessler in An American Werewolf in London, and his very funny zombie scene in the porno theatre later on.

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    July 25, 2014 12:00 amPosted 4 years ago

    The three lights in the closing credits represent three plasma bolts I think.

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